1. Widow Twanky. An honorific she earned after her husband Cranky Twanky passed. 2. Buttons. Things you have to push to find out what they really do. 3. Cinders. Burn your cinders to the bone, what do you get? Boney Cinders 4. The Beast. Something we all must try to keep at bay 5. Gru. A thing we all need to grow some of to hide away for a rainy day 6. Cruella de Vil Hunter Thompson's big car of choice for some fear and loathing duty in Las Vegas 7. The Fairy Godmother Maternal Changeling terrorizing children 8. Abanazar. When you don't have enough to qualify as Abundanza 9. Carabosse The last railroad car on The Bosses train 10. King/Queen Rat. The big cheeses at the local Rodent Club
1. Why did the chicken cross the road? Because a flyover did not eggsxist 2. Why are eggs oval in shape? Because if they were square it would be an eggsistential threat 3. Who said Humpty Dumpty was an egg? Upon advice of my attorney I take the fifth eggmenment 4. What is fumigate? What will be needed once our coop's eggosystem crashes in on itself 5. What is a wuss? Wet cloth used to wipe the eggxtra yoke off your puss 6. What is a spotter? One with eggstremely sharp eyesight 7. What is the speed of light? Eggstrodinarily fast wave and particle scramble to fly the coop 8. What is a hangover? The price of overtly eggregious consumption 9. What is a grammy? What you get with eggsentialy 28.3495 ounceys 10.What is lycra? It's all about how you lycra your eggs
1. Aurora: The sound a lion makes 2. Argument: Something to augment a supposition 3. Blessing: Opposite of messing 4. Smack: A cereal abuser 5. Embarrassment: The hills they put under railroad tracks 6. Prickle: A pickle that made poor life choices 7. Bloat: An inflatable raft 8. Coalition: A compressed energy source 9. Barrel: Run headstrong into a supposition 10. Zeal: What some folks do to their spuds and others don’t
1. Macropinna Microstoma Carpet Cleaner Mini Foama 2. Fossa Mi Fossa Su Casa 3. Leafy Seadragon Pond scum submerged snapdragon 4. Dik-Dik Paddy Mick give a dog a scone 5: Lilac-Breasted Roller Flower covered rolling pin 6. Mata Mata Ana Cona Puna 7. Halitrephes Jelly is good but very smelly 8. Pacu Kid was a friend of mine 9. Gobi Jerboa Rocky Balboa’s deceased sparring partner 10. Aye-Aye Captain! Damn the Halitrephes Jelly. Full spread ahead.
1. Eunoia Country on the eastern border of Freedonia 2. Fika A score I ignore 3. Redamancy Eddie Redmayne’s filmography 4. Aliferous State of Alfie’s numerous amorous conquests 5. Peiskos Children in general 6. Querencia Questioning everything while answering nothing. 7. Metanoia Inability to play on, off, or sideways of the beat 8. Ataraxia When you meet a person you are attracted to you will likely have a short bout of this condition 9. Lagom The place I fished in as a child at Gompers Park 10. Apricity The gratitude I feel for the memories I have of fishing in Gompers Park lagom.
1. How many years bad luck do you get if you break a mirror? Depends on how many facets it had to begin with. 2. What shouldn’t you walk under? The influence 3. Why are black cats crossing your path considered unlucky? Only The Shadow knows for sure 4. Why do we wear a wedding ring on the third finger of the left hand? Because you should always 🎼 pass the Kutchie ‘pon the left hand side🎵
5. Why is it unlucky to open an umbrella indoors? Because you could put somebody’s eye out with that. 6. Why do we cross our fingers for good luck? Same effect as crossing the beams with a Ghost Buster gizmo. 7 . Why do we throw some over our shoulder if we spill salt? To keep the wolves away. 8. Why is wearing green at a wedding considered unlucky? Because that’s the color the Leprechauns wear to their nuptials. 9. What is signified by itchy hands? The paradox of one hand scratching. 10. Why do we cover our mouths when we yawn? Because you never know what noxious naprapathy might flow out.
1. WedgeLooks like a pair of tighty whities, pulled back over your scalp and forehead, with the front pulled over your chin. Improvised from traditional wedgie.
2. MohicanThe last hair style you will ever wear
3. French PlaitLooks like you’re wearing a serving of stinky cheese, snails, and wine on your head.
4. PageboyMakes you look like Mr Philip Morris’s little friend
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5. BouffantAunt Bee’s real last name and precursor to her invention of the beehive hairstyle
6. PixieWhere the dandruff flakes fall like the dust of the fae
7. BobLooks the same from the front to the back, aka Palindrome Cut
8. Crew CutWear only when you’re down with the crew crew talking ’bout the Mu Mu
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9. Buzz cutWhat to wear when you go to the moon and live in low gravity for infinity and beyond.
10. Bunchesaka Cornucopia, Carmen MIranda’s horn of plenty turned over on your head.
1. The Parent Trap AKA Reproduction For Dummies 2. The Incredible Journey when I walk into a room and know exactly why I walked in there 3. Aladdin and his little teapot short and stout gave magic carpet rides (nudge nudge wink wink) 4. Mission Impossible More like MIssion (don’t try this at home) Improbable 5. One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest But it was a boomerang so it came right back 6. The Wind in the Willows “It wasn’t me” frantically pointing at the dog. 7. Underworld Overworld and a 6 point spread 8. Legally Blonde Nope definitely an unreformed criminal bleach bottle raven haired wench 9. The Terminator even though the franchise keeps goin’ and goin’ and goin’… 10. The Love Bug was her pet name for STDs
1. Have a break, have a Kit Kat. Like life , you’ll never know what you’ll get. But you will like it or lump it. 2. You’re never alone with a strand. Because one strand leads to another. 3. Snap! Crackle! Pop! Crash! Bang! Boom! I see you met my little friend Kit Kat. 4. The Ultimate Driving Machine is other people. They drive me crazy. So says my little friend Sartre 5. Don’t leave home without it. A camera to take forced perspective photos of those other people 6. Have it your way. That’s what Decor Galore, a Kit Kat Club exotic dancer, whispered in my ear. 7. Good to the last drop, was the recently fired parachute packer’s motto. 8. Hello Moto. The last thing Mr. Motto heard after getting caught cheating on Gogo Yubari.
You call that begging?
9. Taste the rainbow. Be the rainbow. That was something the Leprechauns would tell me back when I was a little sprout in Indiana 10. Because you’re worth it. Now where’s my change from the dollar I gave you.
A Scroll Threw Life 